


Feathers in the Sea

by Woofemus



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Historical, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-05
Updated: 2014-09-05
Packaged: 2018-03-19 09:59:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3605982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Woofemus/pseuds/Woofemus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Even now, I still swear my duty to you, until every last breath leaves me," Sonoda Umi vows again as her final duty to Minami Kotori.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feathers in the Sea

There isn't much, she recalls later. All she remembers is overwhelming darkness and something rocking, shaking. The wood constantly creaks and she can't sleep. Even opening her eyes does nothing, revealing more darkness.

Suddenly, there's a loud slam and in the next second, all she hears is screaming and shouting. She scrambles upright, jumping from her bed – and falls face first to the floor when the whole _room_ lurches. She groans, rubbing her nose as she tries to sit upright. Another lurch has her rolling again and she slams into the wall, catching the impact on her shoulder. It's too dangerous here, she realizes. Wincing to herself, she tries to make it to her door, trying to keep her balance on the unsteady floor.

Luckily, going through the hallway is much easier, in a space much more narrowed. Still, everything is dark. There isn't even any lantern light anywhere. Going on her memory and following all the shouting, she feels her way outside, hand on the wall and other hand for balance as the ground continues to shakily jolt back and forth.

She gets outside – and is smacked in the face full of water. She lets out a gasp and begins to wheeze, water in her lungs. As soon as she recovers, she's hit by another wave. There's so much noise and shouting, she can't tell what's going on. Someone roughly pushes her out of the way and she stumbles to the side, hands trying to grip whatever she can grab. There's too much water in her face. There's another lurch and suddenly, she can't feel anything underneath her at all. Then –

Falling.

She screams, and screams, only stops when she feels her body smack against something, pain shooting through her. _Then_ comes the sudden realization she is wet and _can't breath_. She feels her body twist and turn, clawing her way upward, but she's still going _down._ She can't see anything. She tries to move but everything she does is effort wasted when she feels as if she's sinking even further down.

Her lungs burn. She wants air. Everything in her tells her not to breath. But it burns, seething until even her mind is blank. She has no choice. She takes a deep breath.

Water rushes in instead.

After a while, she stops, realizing everything is all useless. Slowly, her consciousness begins to fade. Everything feels faint and dull now, as if she's about to close her eyes. Sleep? She hasn't been able to sleep at all. This will help... if she just closes her eyes... she can... finally... go to sleep...

In her dream, she's floating through something. What is it? It's not the sky, it's too dark. But there's some sort of light at the top. Maybe if she tries, she could reach it. But for some reason, she's content to stay here, stay drifting underneath the not-light. It feels nice, why would she want to struggle to the top? She's tired so being able to drift aimlessly around like this feels like heaven to her. It's... nice... but there's... something... pounding... something... bright now...

She gasps and snaps her eyes open – and closes them, the harsh light of the sun too bright. She coughs, and coughs, and coughs. She feels like she's heaving after a while, feeling as if everything is burning inside. Slowly, she lays back down, too tired to do anything, groaning. She tries to open her eyes but the sun is still too bright and she can barely make out anything anyway. Eyes still half-lidded and barely a crack open, she turns her head.

The first memory she has are of amber eyes and ashen hair.

* * *

  **8**

* * *

There are bits she can remember here and there. She remembers that she opened her eyes once and her body felt so tired that she could barely lift her arms or even move her body. Someone helps her sit up and forces water into her mouth. It makes her recoil instead, arms moving automatically as she knocks the bowl out of her mouth. She remembers a look of shock, and not much else afterward. She probably fell unconscious again after that.

The next time is a little bit better. She's slightly more conscious and doesn't flinch at the taste of water. Her throat is so parched and dry that despite her initial reaction, she's eager to drink more. Maybe this is the time she's fed? She can't remember. She goes back to sleep.

The third time is in the middle of the night. She snaps her eyes open, gasping to herself, breathing in large gulps of air. She had a dream where she couldn't breathe. She makes up for it right now. Slowly, she sits upright, pushing herself up on one hand, wincing when she hears a crack from her shoulder and wonders why it feels so sore. She's panting, sweating through her clothes. She feels terrible but she feels too weak and tired to move. She pushes herself back into the futon, forces herself to calm down, hand on her chest as she closes her eyes. When she manages to control herself, she sits up, much more calmer now, squinting at the darkness.

She wants to get up, move around, but she has absolutely no idea where she is, nor does she think the residents of where ever she's staying at will allow her to wander around so freely. She can't hear anyone outside though, so that means there's no one around. As she contemplates what to do, the door slides open.

She's frozen, staring at the stranger in her room. She can't tell who it is, not when darkness obscures her vision and the moon brings down its light on the opposite side right now. All she can tell is that the silhouette is small. Maybe a child, just like her?

She feels her hands tightening on the bedsheets, paralyzed down to her fingers. The door closes behind them and complete darkness enters her vision once again. She can hear the footsteps padding in the darkness, creeping closer. She hitches her breath, closes her eyes tightly.

She doesn't expect to suddenly topple over with a sudden weight on top of her. She blinks to herself, stunned for a moment before she regains her senses. More like, she hisses from the pain and reflexively raises her hands. She's halfway on the floor, hands gripping something soft, with a warm body on top of her.

"Ow..." she hears, so close to her ear she feels the same breath it was muttered from. Her hands grip tighter in response. "Ow!" She feels the body on top of her shake her arms off and she's too surprised to do anything, registering that her arms fall back down to the floor with a thud.

"Oh!" And suddenly, she's upright, a hand on her back. "Um... I'll pull you back to bed now," she hears a murmur, and something weakly tugging on her. She helps, if only because the bed is much more comfortable than the floor. The voice is still too low but she thinks it's another girl.

"Are you... are you okay?" the voice asks. She nods, before realizing it's too dark for them to make each other out.

"Y-yes," she says, or rather, she rasps, feeling embarrassed when she has to clear her throat several times. When was the last time she even spoke?

"Do... do you need water?" It sounds nice, but she thinks about how much trouble and inconvenience she'd be, so she shakes her head. Thankfully, the other girl understands, settling down next to her though their hand is still on her back.

"My name is Kotori," the other girl says, still whispering. She must not want to get caught, she thinks. "I was the one who found you."

"Ko..." she lets out a cough, clearing her throat several times. "Ko..."

"Ko, to, ri," the other girl repeats for her, emphasizing each syllable. "It means little bird."

"Kotori..." she finally says. "Kotori," she says again with a nod.

"Yeah, that's it." Kotori makes a sound, something happy? It sounds like it. "What's your name?" Kotori asks.

"My name?" she says, blinking. She opens her mouth to respond – and pauses. She thinks. And thinks. Wracking her mind even more makes her have a headache. She shakes her head. "I don't remember."

"Really?" Kotori sounds... disappointed.

"I'm sorry," she mumbles, keeping her face down. "I don't... I don't really remember anything else."

"... huh?" Kotori is confused, she can hear it. "You don't remember anything else?"

"I..." she moves a hand to her head, rubbing it. She closes her eyes, trying to think. "I... I can't remember anything. It's just... black. Nothing."

"Oh..."

She tries not to fidget awkwardly where she is. She doesn't know what else to do, nor does she know what Kotori will do.

"How about we come up with a name for you?"

"... eh?"

"If you can't remember your name, you just need to come up with one, right?"

"I... I guess I have to," she can't help but agree. She can't exactly be without a name.

"I'll help you come up with one!"

"O-okay," she says, only for lack of anything else to say, because really, how does one come up with a name? Even Kotori realizes that it's harder than it looks, when her face scrunches up as she thinks to herself.

"Alpacas!" she suddenly says.

"... huh?"

"Alpacas! I saw them once before. They were these really... long... fluffy things!" She stands up with a grin, stretching her arms as high as she can. "Taller than this even! Really fluffy!"

"That's..." she scratches her cheek. "Um... I don't think I should be called... that," she mumbles.

"You don't like it?" Kotori sits down with a pout. "But they were really cute. I would have thought you would liked it." Kotori suddenly reaches out, running her hand through her hair. She freezes, her cheeks burning when she feels the soft touch against her ear. "I mean, your hair is really soft, but it's a little... let's take a bath tomorrow! You're a girl too, right?"

"Hah?!" She has the feeling the conversation is going somewhere she can't follow.

"Your hair is blue... and where we found you..." Kotori suddenly claps her hands together. "I got it! How about... _Umi?_ It means the sea, which is where we found you." Kotori grabs her hand, pressing her finger into her palm. "It's written like this..." She doesn't really remember the character, but she does remember Kotori's finger softly dragging itself across her palm, remembers how her body nearly shuddered at how ticklish it felt, remembers how warm Kotori's hand was.

It's so distracting but she remembers she still needs to respond. " _U_ _mi?_ " she says, tilting her head. The sea... it... doesn't sound bad, at least, it's better than... alpaca. " _Umi,_ " she says again, repeating it several more times. "Umi, umi, umi..." if she says it anymore, it'll start to feel weird.

"Umi," Kotori says. "Do... do you like it?"

"I... I'll take it?" The indecisiveness in her voice is probably what makes Kotori pull back.

"Um! I just said the first thing I thought of and if you really don't like it, then..." Kotori laughs nervously, pulling her hand back. She tries not to make a disappointed sound. When there are still no words spoken, Kotori shifts, placing her hands on the wooden floor. "We... maybe we'll just wait for your memory to come back and hopefully you'll have your name?" She wants to speak but a yawn comes out instead.

There is nothing else that needs to be said. Kotori leaves her after whispering a good night to her, leaving her to rest and fitful dreams.

Morning comes and now that she is awake and conscious, she's taken to see her saviors. The Minami clan, she learns, as she walks through the winding hallways full of paper doors that all look the same. She's brought into a room –

The amber eyes she thought were a dream come back to her.

She must have been staring, because someone clears their throat to get her attention. "Kotori was the one who saved you," someone speaks. She looks up and finds the same amber eyes staring down at her, studying her. Kotori... she moves her eyes down to look at the girl next to her, keeping a respectful distance behind. This woman must be her mother, she realizes. Kotori shyly steps forward until she's hiding behind her mother. "Your life, what will you do with it?" she hears.

She looks between the woman and Kotori. Should she be scared? She feels like she should be. She realizes now that there is an obvious discrepancy in power and class between her and the people in front of her. But she feels calm, feels as if everything suddenly makes sense. She looks back at Kotori and bows her head as deeply as she can.

"Thank you for saving this life. I... I have no memory of my life before so... it is yours." Her voice is even as she speaks. There is nothing but silence accompanying her words.

"... raise your head," the woman speaks. She does, slowly, unsure now. The woman is still looking at her but there is some curiosity now, as she glances between her and Kotori. "What is your name?"

She answers in an instant.

"Umi."

* * *

  **14**

* * *

The wind is light today. Her mind is blank, calm, as she fixes her eyes in front of her. Here, in this lonely corner of the manor, no one comes around here. She likes to use this area to continue practicing long after the instructors are done with their formal training. On the tree, she concentrates, staring at the small 'x' she's marked with her dagger. She only moves her bow slightly, gauging for a second before she nocks her arrow. One more second, and she fires it.

When it strikes the spot she's marked, she brings her bow down. Another second, and she lets a smirk slip past, bringing her hand up to wipe the sweat off her forehead.

A sudden clapping makes her spin around, another arrow in her hands before she realizes. Kotori grins at her, waving where she is.

"Ah... my lady," Umi says as she bows stiffly.

"Umi-chan! There's no one around here," Kotori scolds, pouting. "You don't have to be so formal!"

"It's... it is improper," Umi mumbles, trying to push the redness of her face off. Kotori smiles exasperatedly.

"Am I interrupting? Are you still practicing?" Umi glances down at her equipment before shaking her head.

"No, it's fine. I can take a break," she says. What she doesn't say is that she'll always make time for Kotori. She gestures toward the same tree she was aiming at. "Would the shade be nicer?"

"That'd be nice," Kotori agrees, tugging on Umi's hand to drag her there. Umi feels her face burning, and knows it isn't entirely from the sun. Kotori sits down on the grass, carefully smoothing her dress out before she does so. Umi sits down, though with less dignity and grace than Kotori. Even she admits that she's winded from her training to care how she looks right now.

"Umi-chan, I have something to give to you but it's in my room, do you mind... later..." she trails off, voice quiet.

"Of course," Umi answers automatically, knowing what Kotori wishes to ask. Kotori smiles in relief, a smile that Umi tentatively returns. Umi tries not to twitch when Kotori's hand tightens on hers. "A-are you not busy with duties?" she decides to ask, trying to focus on something else that isn't Kotori's hand. Kotori tenses up and Umi recognizes that gesture. "Did you skip them again?"

"No!" Kotori waves her hand, "I'm just, uh, taking a break from them." She makes a face. "I mean, my legs were going to cramp up from sitting any longer! I just asked for a little break, that's it, trust me."

"... if you say so," Umi only says, shaking her head. If they found Kotori slacking off in her duties, Umi would be the one punished for allowing her to act so. But it wasn't the punishment Umi was worried about, it was the way Kotori seemed so... carefree about everything. She was the heir to the Minami clan, and Umi thought heirs would be... more... serious.

"Young mistress!" A screech sounds out at that moment. The both of them snap their heads to the sound, finding an elderly woman glaring at them. Kotori pales instantly.

"Oh no, she's here!" Kotori whispers. She grabs Umi's hand and runs.

"K-Kotori?! W-wait!" Umi cries out, trying to keep herself from stumbling. Oh, they were both going to be in so much trouble!

And they were, afterward when Kotori could no longer avoid her lessons. They are both scolded heavily, Kotori for skipping away, and Umi for allowing her to do so. Umi sighs, watching Kotori be led away back to her lesson.

She remembered when they were younger, when Umi didn't know any better, how Kotori would always somehow find her in the giant, sprawling manor. Oftentimes though, Umi was in the middle of chores, helping the maids clean the cabinets where they couldn't reach, with her tiny hands. But Kotori would always drag her away and the maids would always look the other direction, even discreetly giving them snacks.

But they were always scolded in the end, lectured until Umi was sure her ears were always ringing. She was always given more chores as a result, often more cleaning duty and security was stricter for Kotori.

Not that it mattered, when Kotori would sneak out again two days later and take her hand, running through the hallways.

The memories make Umi laugh softly to herself. How many years has it been since that day? Umi closes her eyes, trying to remember. The only way she keeps track of her days is when she either sees Kotori or doesn't. It's been about four days since they last had time to see each other. Their time together is starting to lessen, with Umi being busy with her training and Kotori busy with her duties.

They've grown taller, though Kotori is a _little_ taller than her. It makes Umi embarrassed, makes her feel like she has to catch up, to be able to better protect Kotori. She trains hard everyday, until she's sure the arc of her sword is perfect, until she can reliably shoot her arrows into the same spot every time.

She still doesn't remember anything of her life before then, doesn't remember much. Or is it can't remember much? All she knows is that cold water makes her flinch and lose herself for a moment, until she comes back and has to take in large gulps of air to calm herself. Kotori sort of half laughs at her and half gives her a guilty look, because "Umi can't go into the sea!" Not that it really matters, when Kotori's free time continues to dwindle down and Umi spends most of it training.

Back then, when Kotori doesn't see her, Umi doesn't really know what else there is for her to do. Most of the time she does chores to keep herself busy, knowing this is the least she can do to repay her lifelong debt to the Minami. But is there anything else she can do beyond it? Something... more substantial? Being their servant sounds nice but Umi is... restless, antsy because she thinks there must be something else she can do, something she can do to properly show her gratitude to Kotori.

She remembers when luck smiles down on her, on a day that seems like any other when she takes a small break outside in the courtyard, catching her breath before she continues her chores. Someone stomps up to her, tall and imposing. She recognizes him as the son of the captain of the guards, taking after his father's footsteps. If she recalls... he has a bit of a mean streak, always boasting to all his skill with a sword.

"What could Minami-sama be thinking, keeping a dirty mongrel like you around?" he says with a shake of his shoulders. "Consider yourself lucky that Minami-sama is kind enough to not throw you back outside onto the streets where you belong."

Though she clenches her fists, she does not give in to his provokes, knows that she will lose if she does. All she can hope for is ignoring him and praying that he leaves, to bother someone else. She walks away, trying not to sigh to herself when he follows after her.

A sudden feeling makes her dart forward, spinning around on her heels as she puts a hand to the back of her head. He blinks at her, with his hand outstretched from where he would have grabbed her hair. A scowl comes onto his face. Warning bells go off in her mind.

"You think you're better than me?" he speaks, his voice low. She tenses up, eyes darting everywhere, looking for any exits. His hand darts out again, faster now. She twists her body to the side, watching him rush past her.

She doesn't know how long they do this, but she manages to evade his swipes every single time, easily slipping out of his grip. They're both tiring though and she hopes he'll stop soon.

Thankfully, it is her lucky day, when a voice commands them both to stop. The both of them freeze, turning to a man standing a little ways off, staring at both of them. To her surprise he goes up to her. She can see his graying hair and the lines of his face and hands. His hands do not shake as she's often seen the elderly do, a testament to his strength. He bends down, studying her.

"You are the child Kotori-sama rescued, are you not?" he asks. His voice... it makes her stand up straight, keeping herself tense and stiff. She gives him a nod. He glances at the boy before looking back at her. "You swore your life to Kotori-sama, did you not?"

Umi blinks at him. "Y-yes," she speaks. "My life is for the Minami to use." He quirks his lips at her, as if she's said something funny.

"Do you wish to have the strength to protect Kotori-sama?" he only asks.

Protect... Kotori? Her eyes widen at the prospect of being able to do so. She nods again, this time more eager than before. Still, his face doesn't change. "Tomorrow, the training grounds, when the sun rises. If anyone asks, tell them Sonoda called for you." He walks away then, leaving both children to stare after him. This is how Umi comes under the formal instruction of Sonoda, one of the finest archers who swore eternal loyalty to the Minami when they saved his life from the brink of death.

So Umi takes up swordsmanship and archery, easily becoming one of their most promising students, especially given who her instructor is. Sonoda has no heirs or children, so it surprises everyone when he announces Umi will inherit his trade. It shocks especially her, who hadn't even realized what he was intending from the start.

She becomes Umi of the Sonoda. Her days become even harder than before, with new expectations thrust onto her. Her body is pushed to the brink, small body broken and battered, but she's never felt more alive, laying on her bed at night, nothing but aches and soreness creeping through her, even as Kotori looks at her worriedly. She feels as if her life has a purpose now, a way for her to repay her debt to the Minami.

When she's laying at night, unable to lift even a finger, Kotori tells her about the Minami. Kotori used to sneak into her room when they didn't have time during the day. It eventually evolved into almost every other night.

It is here at these times that she learns about Kotori and her family. The Minami clan, known throughout the land, for their strange, yet miraculous healing. Boasting of being able to heal anything and everything, everyone comes to see the Minami for healing. Umi has an inkling of an idea of how truly lucky she really is now, to have been found by Kotori.

"I don't really know how they do it," Kotori admits later, a frown on her face. "Mother says I'm not old enough to know yet and I have to wait. But doesn't it sound cool?"

"It does," Umi says, wondering how something like that would even work. Miraculous healing... it sounds like magic. Does magic exist in the world? She doesn't know and she feels like Kotori will tease her if she asks. If it exists, it's a very well-kept secret, she thinks.

She finds out more about Kotori, hoping she doesn't look too eager when Kotori speaks about herself. She always has duties to tend to, being the only heir. Her mother is always so busy as well, having to tend to patients or being called to travel outside. Still, despite her loneliness, Kotori admires her mother. Umi wonders what that feels like.

Kotori likes to describe her best friend, a girl their age named Honoka, family name Kousaka. The Kousaka are known for their famous _manjuu_ , deliciousness in every bite. She remembers Kotori bringing her some and Umi was skeptical, unable to fathom how something so innocuous looking could taste so amazing, until she took a bite and became converted.

The Kousaka used to visit often when Honoka was born, Honoka's mother being sworn friends to Kotori's. The way Kotori describes her, it sounds as if Honoka is like the sun, radiant and warm. It's why Kotori can be so carefree, when she has a friend like Honoka to keep her sadness and loneliness away.

When she finally meets the girl in question, she realizes she can see how Kotori is drawn to her, drawn to that smile that makes even Umi feel as if she's known Honoka forever. Honoka had taken to her right away, treating her as if she was always a part of their lives. Though she's too carefree for Umi, she appreciates that frankness Honoka has, secretly jealous at how well she can express herself so easily. All the trouble the three of them used to get to, no thanks to Honoka's foolish ideas and Kotori always being willing to go through with them! But Kotori smiles at them and likes to hold both of their hands, as if reminding herself that she isn't alone, and Umi doesn't feel quite so bad anymore.

As they grow older though, Honoka's visits become less, as she begins to learn her family's trade and has to take care of her younger sister. Even Kotori's visits to Umi's room begin to lessen, though Umi thinks it's more to do with the increased security once they caught Kotori sneaking through the manors. It's improper for the heir to be in her room as well. But Kotori looked so heartbroken that she couldn't come to see Umi so much that Umi foolishly promised she would sneak into Kotori's room.

To her complete surprise, Umi becomes an expert at it, having already memorized the routes the guards take along with the much needed skill of keeping her steps light. She's done this so many times she could do it in her sleep, but that would be negligent of her and she isn't supposed to get caught in the first place. She recalls all the moments and accidents where she's almost been caught to humble herself.

Umi blinks to herself suddenly, having realized she was so lost in reminiscing that the moon was fully in the sky, illuminating the outside. Soon, and she'll have to sneak into Kotori's room. She spends her time scanning her room.

It's mostly bare, with her futon in the middle of the room. Her most treasured possession, the first bow she painstakingly crafted for herself. She remembers all the cuts and splinters, along with broken string she wasted.

She isn't really someone who keeps things but there are some trinkets here and there. When she goes into town, she likes watching the craftsmen in their natural element, working on their trade. Some of their works were so beautiful that Umi felt as if she needed to buy something, to show her appreciation.

When she finally buys the third figurine, she suddenly realizes what she likes the most out of all of them. A sparrow, crane, and robin sit at the corner of her room. It doesn't help that now, the craftsmen smile knowingly at her and call her their little bird watcher. Kotori grins at the bird figurines, cooing that they look so wonderful and beautiful and Umi doesn't quite know why she's so embarrassed. She appreciates watching the birds, watch them fly over the walls of the manor with ease, watching them spread their wings and beat them to lift their tiny bodies so high up in the sky.

A loud thud makes Umi jump, startled out of her thoughts now. When she looks out, she realizes she's spent far too much time lost in her own head. With a hurried pace, she sneaks on over to Kotori's room.

"Umi-chan?" Kotori calls out as soon as she opens the door. Kotori is sitting at her desk, leaning over several books. Umi closes the door behind her as she bows to her.

"My lady," she greets. Kotori smiles at her and – Umi can't help but make a confused face. Normally, Kotori is excited to see her, already waiting eagerly at the door for Umi to make her presence. Even so when she's past their meeting time. But Kotori is still sitting at her desk, the air around her somber.

"Are... are you okay?" Umi chances to ask, quietly padding through the room, steps uncertain. She nearly slips on something soft. When she looks down, it's Kotori's green ribbon, the one she normally wears, strewn carelessly on the floor. She bends down and gingerly picks it up, cradling it in her hands before she hurries to Kotori's side.

"Huh? Um..." Kotori smiles, or tries to. "I'm... I'm fine."

Umi tries not to sigh but when she walks closer, she's alarmed to find tears in her eyes. "K-Kotori?!"

The whisper of her name is what breaks her. Kotori blinks as the tears fall down and she swipes at them.

"Um! No, this is... this... it's..." and she stops, knowing any further words are useless. Umi watches her cover her face with her hands, sobbing into them.

"Kotori..." she doesn't know what to do but she brushes her hand on Kotori's shoulder, hoping it comforts her.

"There was... there was a rabbit today..." Kotori says, hiccuping slightly. "It was... it was hurt. I wanted... I wanted to save it, but..." She curls within herself. "They said... it was too late... it was... almost dead... but!"

It is several more long moments before she finally regains herself. "Mother... she... she showed me... there was... nothing we could do." Kotori clenches her hands in her lap, staring down at it. "I just... I just wanted to save it. We're supposed to have good healing powers but for that rabbit we... we couldn't..."

The tears Kotori sheds for the rabbit she couldn't save make Umi even more subdued than usual. She stays silent, unable to figure out the words to comfort Kotori. Finally, she slowly puts her hand on Kotori, as if unsure.

"You... you saved _me_ ," she says, quietly. Kotori snaps her head up at her, blinking at her. Was... was that the wrong thing to say? She doesn't know. But Kotori cracks a smile, sniffling as she does so. She doesn't say anything, only shakes her head as her sobbing dies down.

"S-sorry, I don't... look very nice right now, do I?" Kotori mumbles, hiding her face.

"N-no! You still look very nice!" Umi quickly says, fighting down the reddening of her cheeks. "Um..." she reaches into her pocket, fetching a handkerchief. "It might be a little dirty, but um, you can use this."

Kotori blinks at the cloth in front of her. Slowly, she raises her hands to it before she looks up at Umi with a tearful smile. "T-thank you," she says as she dabbles at her eyes. Umi turns around respectfully, waiting until Kotori is done. Several moments later, a tug on her sleeve gives her the signal that it's fine now, and she turns around.

Kotori's eyes are red and her nose is still runny. She still looks pretty, Umi thinks. Not like her, when she's grimy and dirty from all the training she does. Still, Kotori reaches out, holding Umi's hand between hers. She's suddenly aware of all the differences, when she feels her hand is too rough for someone like Kotori to hold.

"Thank you," Kotori mumbles, breathing deeply.

* * *

Later, when the moon is high in the sky, Umi leaves, preparing herself once she hears Kotori slide the door shut. Walking through the halls gives her a strange feeling though. She can't hear any footsteps of the guards that regularly walk around, nor can she even hear the hushed whispers of the maids that are still working in the night. Is there something wrong? Are they in a different part of the manor? It makes her want to go back to Kotori's room, just to make sure things are fine, if only she didn't run the double risk of getting caught in the first place.

Right when she rounds a corner where she _knows_ she has to be extra careful, she still hears nothing. Her suspicions rise even more as she leans over and sees no one. It's... _too_ quiet. She quickly spins on her heels, trying not to run through the hallways. Her steps will carry and if there _is_ still someone there, she'll be giving herself away.

Something slithers down her leg. She nearly shouts, and instead clamps her teeth down before any sound leaves her mouth. Looking down, she lets out a sigh of relief as she bends over.

Kotori's ribbon. She forgot to give it back. At least she'll have a good excuse for going back to see her one more time. She remembers that Kotori had meant to give her something as well. Given what had happened though, she can hardly blame Kotori for forgetting. Perhaps she will mention it when she brings her ribbon back.

When she slides the door to Kotori's room open, what she sees is not _only_ Kotori in her room _._ What she _does_ see is Kotori is crumpled on the floor, with a strange person standing over her. It has to be a man, with his broad stature and how deep his voice is when he grunts in surprise as he spins in her direction. He's dressed in entirely black so it's hard to make him out, even with the light of the moon aiding her. She can't see his face, it's covered.

 _Assassin_ , her mind instantly snaps at her. It explains why she didn't hear any of the guards. Umi feels herself frozen, feet rooted to the ground, until her eyes land on Kotori, helpless on the floor, eyes closed.

_Kotori._

She darts forward, nothing on her mind except for getting Kotori out of there. She doesn't realize that the man's already taken a dagger out, ready to stab it into her head. He doesn't realize that she's much faster and stronger than she looks from all the training she's done, as she lunges forward before he can react. She shoves him outside, onto the outer hallway. She lands on top of him, struggling as she pushes against his arm.

His hand is on her face, trying to push her off. But she grips tight, struggling to get the dagger out of his hand. So it completely surprises her then, when he suddenly pulls his hand back. She loses her balance and immediately grabs his clothes to right herself. She manages to do it time to snap her body to the side instinctively, the dagger cutting just above her eye, slicing off some of her hair as well. With the momentum of turning away though, it's easy for him to shove her off and he does so, kicking her away.

As her body is light and him much stronger, she skids for a bit before she manages to right herself, springing back to her feet in no time, trying not to curl within herself from his powerful kick. The blood from her cut is seeping into her eye and she instinctively closes it, hissing slightly at the sting. It isn't good, having her vision impaired, especially on this dark night against an opponent wearing dark clothes. He holds his dagger threateningly, its sharpness glinting in the moonlight, watching her carefully.

They silently size each other up, waiting. Umi is tense, waiting for him to do something, watching him for any action so she can react. The element of surprise worked the first time, but she doubts it'll work again here. She has to figure out what to do, before –

He darts back into the room.

Umi's eye widens, her body chilling. Panic and desperation drives her being, feet carrying her as fast as she can back to the room. _Kotori,_ _ **Kotori –**_

Umi blinks when her body suddenly stops. The enemy is right in front of her and he's not doing anything. This is her chance! She wants to move, but her body won't obey her for some reason. Blinking again, slowly, she looks down, looks at the dagger sticking out of her body. Against her will, she slowly slides down to the floor, gasping wordlessly.

Belatedly, she realizes he baited her and she foolishly took it. It makes her angry, completely frustrated that she fell for something so simple. The man only watches her carefully, bending down before her. She coughs, trying to push herself up. The blood makes it slippery and she feels every ounce of strength leave her as her hand falls flat.

 _No... no..._ she lets out a shuddering breath. _My life... it is... not yours to take!_

In her desperation, she reaches out. She grabs his leg, pulling on it. When it doesn't budge, she switches tactics, gripping his leg tightly. Her face is against the floor as she wheezes, trying to cling to life with her tiny body even as it spills out of her.

"I will not... you... will not... touch... her..." she breathes harshly, digging into his leg.

Even though he shakes his leg furiously, her grip holds. When he realizes she isn't letting go, he turns around, rearing his other leg back.

Her scream mixes with the loud crack, both sounds permeating through the air. She has no choice but to let go now. Pain sears into her mind as she gasps, pushing her head into the floor harshly in a desperate attempt to provide _any_ relief. She doesn't want to look at her arm, knows that if she does, it'll make everything worse. Everything is beginning to blur together, blur into nothing but a thick fog of pain. She wheezes, blood still seeping out of her, tears dripping down her face.

 _Kotori..._ she thinks, trying to keep herself focused, trying to keep the pain away. _Kotori, Kotori, Kotori –_

"Ko... to... ri..." she rasps as she reaches out weakly.

Her hand falls flat against the floor again as her eyes dull.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Somehow, she finds herself feeling as if she's floating through air, or... _something._ There's a strange sensation going through her right now. It makes her feel like she's both sinking and rising. But to what? She feels... feels...

Nothing.

She opens her eyes and she can't see in front of her. Everything is darkness, pitch black. There's something tingling now. It feels like... her arm? Someplace... where her arm should be? She turns her head, peering through the darkness. To her surprise, there's a faint green glow now, right next to her, where her arm is.

_My... arm?_

Why is she confused? Everything feels... ephemeral, as if she's there, yet _not_.

She feels like... she's in nothing but darkness, water surrounding her on all sides, carrying her... somewhere... is she supposed to go somewhere? Is she supposed to do something? She feels like she is.

The sea... the sea... why... is that... important?

 _My... name?_ The sea... is her name...

 _Ah._ She remembers bits and pieces again. Someone... standing over... a... bird? _No... can't let them take away... don't... I'll..._

Birds... did she like birds? She does. Right?

_Thrown outside. Don't let her get killed. Something in body. Sharp. Pain. Floor. Cold. So cold. No, no no no, don't you dare step closer. Hands. A snap. Crack? Blood. So much... blood. Just like... the sea... so... painful... but it doesn't compare to –_

She screams, loud and piercing into the darkness. Her arm, her arm, _her arm._ Her arm is broken, the bone cracked with a simple snap. She remembers how it feels, recalls the terrible feeling and pain.

What she feels now, it's as if the reverse is happening. Her bones are moving slowly, each motion accompanied by excruciating pain as they forcibly mend. She screams, thrashing, as she tries to twist away from the pain, shaking her head. Everything feels so hot, _too hot._ She feels like her mind is being completely seared with pain, blackness when she opens her eyes, whiteness when she closes them.

She lets out another scream when she gets another feeling, thinks it's her bones grinding against each other, trying to force itself into place. It's something she's never felt. She _never_ wants to feel this ever again. She pushes her head back, resisting the urge to slam it against the ground, because the pain is so unbearable. It hurts, and hurts, and she can't think about anything other than _it hurts._

It stops then. She pants, trying to catch her breath. Her mind is foggy, unable to recall anything beyond the name of her lady. She repeats it, over and over again, to stabilize herself, to pull herself together as she struggles to regain her self.

Another scream is wrenched out of her when she feels something gripping deep within, like something sharp cutting into her. Her scream becomes strangled choking, breathing through her teeth. Her hands rise up to pull at her body, digging into it, writhing and seizing with nothing but sharp and biting.

Then, nothing.

Nothing, save the for feeling of disappointment and failure.

She doesn't even remember why.

**...**

**...**

**...**

**...**

**...**

For the second time in her life, she gasps awake, breathing heavily. She doesn't recognize the ceiling and her breathing turns even harsher as her eyes dart around. Something's holding her down. She thrashes, kicking her legs out and waving her arms around.

She has to stop when soreness and a sharp pain make her gasp and curl within herself. Her hand goes to grab at her shoulder, squeezing it as she closes her eyes and hisses in pain. Her arm is throbbing, painful and burning, completely unbearable. She tightens her hold on her shoulder, gritting her teeth, not caring that she's digging her nails into it. It's still better than _her arm._ She closes her eyes tightly, trying to focus on _anything_ that isn't the pain in her arm.

_Stop, stop, make it stop, stop stop please stopstop **stop** – _

She feels a hand on her arm, rubbing it soothingly. It does absolutely nothing.

Slowly though, when she has more coherency, she realizes the pain is dulling. Hesitantly, she opens her eyes, mind still hazy with pain, trying to see what's happening.

"Shh, shh," she hears, soft and soothing. That voice... it sounds familiar... it sounds...

"Kotori?" she asks. Or rather, she tries, but it comes out as a sharp rasp instead, too harsh to make out.

But now that coherency and consciousness is returning to her, she begins to realize that it isn't just her arm that hurts. Her chest throbs, pulsating, slow and quiet. She slowly lets go of her shoulder, trailing her hand to where, the last she remembered, a dagger was in. There's nothing there now.

The action takes every bout of energy out of her and she finally slumps back down onto the bed, trying to catch her breath. She's too tired to even open her eyes. The throbbing of her own body is the only thing keeping her from fully sleeping.

Everything feels like it hurts. Moving hurts, breathing hurts, _living hurts_.

Somehow, darkness comes over her.

The next time she wakes up, there's something hot and warm on her hand, as if holding it. She groans before she opens her eyes, blinking groggily.

"Umi-chan?" She recognizes that voice, recognizes her name afterward.

"Kotori?" she gasps, trying to will consciousness faster into her. The warmth on her hand tightens.

"Umi-chan..." Why is Kotori barely speaking above a whisper? Kotori –

"Ah!" She snaps her eyes open. "The... the assassin... he..." she coughs, dryness in her throat preventing her from speaking anymore. The warmth on her hand leaves. She misses it. But now, there's a hand on her head, urging her upward. She moves but winces at the sudden soreness she suddenly feels, groaning even more.

There's a bowl lifted to her lips. Water. She drinks eagerly, not caring if it spills down her body. After she's drank the whole bowl, she lays back down, wincing now that she's aware of the throbbing of her body.

"K-Kotori? Are you... are you okay?" she asks as she peers at her. "Your eyes... they're red."

"... mi-chan is an idi-" she hears.

"Did... you say something?" She feels everything in her go cold when Kotori brings her face up, tears running down her face.

"You almost died and you're asking _me_ if I'm fine!?" Kotori reaches out to grip her hand tightly, sobbing. "If they were a second later... if you..."

"... who?" Umi scrunches her face. "Almost died? What?"

"You!" Kotori uncharacteristically snaps as she slams her hands on the floor. "There was... so much... blood... I..." she trails off, pressing Umi's hand into her face, as if trying to will her own life into it.

"I... he... he was..." Umi lets out a pained groan, trying to gather her thoughts. "How... what... what happened to me?" she asks instead.

"You stalled the assassin long enough for the guards to come," Kotori speaks, voice low, as if reciting words on a paper, "and they found you on the floor... and... Mother... I..." she stops speaking, cuts herself off with a shuddering breath.

" _You_ are safe though?" Umi asks.

"Is... is that really what you were thinking?" Kotori slowly brings her eyes to her, tears streaming down. She wants to reach out, wants to make her stop crying, feeling guilty that the reason Kotori is crying is because of her.

"Your life is important too!" Kotori lets out in a harsh whisper as she clutches at Umi.

"N-no, not as important as yours–" Umi lets out a hiss of pain when Kotori presses down on her chest.

"Don't you dare tell me that," Kotori speaks, daring her to say otherwise. "Umi-chan... don't... don't say that."

 _But it's the truth,_ she can't help but think. When it comes down to it, Umi is no one, originally a body in the sea. She isn't anyone important. Who will miss her when she's gone? But Kotori... Kotori is...

"Promise me."

Umi blinks, wondering if she heard something. There's another sound again, faintly audible and she strains to catch it. Kotori whips her head up, holding Umi's hand to her face. "Umi-chan, promise me that you won't... won't do something so reckless again!" She shakes her head. "Promise me that you'll take care of yourself too!"

"Don't... don't leave me alone," Kotori whispers so brokenly that Umi has no words to even offer as comfort. "Promise me... that you won't... get yourself killed."

Sonoda Umi has no choice but to swear, swear that she won't, swear to her soul that she will condemn herself if she'll allow Minami Kotori to make that pained face ever again.

* * *

  **19**

* * *

Their days blur together, as spring brings forth new life, transforming into the summer heat, cooling down as the leaves brown, chilling as everything becomes white and frigid, until everything becomes renewed when the birds soar back in the sky. Many seasons pass in this way.

Kotori becomes oddly determined to pay attention to her lessons now. Her teachers are delighted that she stops sneaking out so much but wonder where that motivation comes from. Only her mother knows, when Umi can feel her eyes linger on her on the rare occasions Minami comes by to oversee their training. Umi's days remain the same, perfecting herself into someone of worth.

Umi practices the same routine she's been doing, though there are some new habits added. In the morning, before the sun has risen but the sky is no longer a lonely black, she wakes. She sits up, wincing when the aches follow her. She rubs her arm soothingly, a habit at this point. It's recovered and she can still use it, but there are times when it brings a throbbing soreness. It only comes out when it's reaching into the colder months like right now, as the gentle, fall winds begin to turn biting to welcome the winter.

As she dresses, her hand lingers slightly on the scar on her chest, a reminder of her weakness, an unspoken vow to become even stronger. She finishes and stands up, running her hand through her bangs as she roughly combs out her hair, reaching to the middle of her back now.

Her thoughts wander as her body moves automatically through her stretches. Lately though, it feels as if there's a strange change that comes over Kotori. She's become... reserved, much more than usual. However much Kotori is enthusiastic around her, Umi knows she is, at heart, timid and meek. Though she is heir, Kotori is not a leader and will never be.

The few brief times they have consists of Kotori sitting quietly, playing with her hands, a habit Umi thinks is recent as she used to not do so before. She looks at Umi as if she wishes to speak before she thinks better of it and stays silent. The comfortable air they used to have before is gone now, replaced by something... tense, heavy. But she does not know what to do to dispel such awkward air, does not know why Kotori looks at her with a pained expression.

Done with her stretches now, Umi makes her way outside. "A-ah!" She blinks, realizing a maid is waiting outside. It is the new maid with brown hair who misplaces things, though Umi suspects it is because she has trouble seeing, when she catches her having to squint at the cupboards too often to count. Still, she is earnest and eager to please. Umi gives her a nod and waits.

"L-lady Kotori... said... she is... waiting for you," she breathes out, bowing deeply. Umi makes a sound of confirmation and turns around to walk in the opposite direction she was planning. She had meant to train that morning but there were always some exceptions she had to make.

She arrives at Kotori's room, standing outside the door. She kneels before she speaks. "My lady, you were looking for me?"

"Umi-chan?" Kotori's voice is muffled behind the door. "Come in!"

"Excuse me," she murmurs, standing up to slide the door open. She brings her eyes up from the floor – and freezes, unable to stop her mouth from dropping.

"How is it?" Kotori asks as she gives a twirl. Umi swallows, painfully aware of the dryness of her throat. "I made it!" she says with a giggle. The light green accentuates the grayness of Kotori's hair, contrasting it in a way that makes Umi so much more aware of the smoothness and silkiness as the strands fly around from her twirl. The floral pattern of the _kimono_ is a stunning yellow that goes with the amber of her eyes. To Umi's trained eyes, she spies a tiny bird amongst the flowers. It makes her smile for a brief moment before she moves her eyes back up.

"It's... you..." Umi is still slack-jawed as she tries to get her words out. She had always thought of Kotori as splendid and lovely, always radiant and graceful like a blooming flower. She had a gentleness and warmth to her that made Umi feel calm but she feels anything but right now, when her throat is dry and she feels she cannot speak past the pounding of her heart.

"Beautiful," she finally whispers. Her mind spins at the word. "I mean! Your d-dress-" she cuts herself off when she realizes Kotori brings a hand up to her mouth, laughing softly.

"Thank you," Kotori finally says, her voice so quiet that even to Umi's trained ears she can barely catch it. There it is again, that feeling, as if Kotori wishes to continue speaking but holds herself back. Kotori opens her eyes and smiles at her. "Would you like to accompany me outside?" she asks instead. Umi is still unsure, quietly regarding her, but she nods.

They don't go very far, only just outside the manor where grasslands stretch as far as the eye can see. They're still far away that they can't be spied on but close enough to be able to shout for aid if they need it, not that they do with Umi by Kotori's side. They rest under the shade of a tree, home to many of the birds Umi sees when she looks out in the sky.

Kotori still hasn't spoken since coming here. Umi decides to ask, "My lady, is... there something wrong?"

"No!" Kotori answers, too quickly and breathlessly. Umi still doesn't know what to do but her face must give away her worry, when Kotori laughs weakly. "You know... we're... a lot older now, aren't we?"

"... yes?" Umi answers confusedly. Ever since... that day... five winters have passed? Her real age is muddled no thanks to her memory loss, but she guesses she's around Kotori's age. Kotori is... reaching nineteen winters, if she remembers correctly.

"I heard someone asked for your hand in marriage the other day," Kotori suddenly says, voice light. It doesn't fool Umi but the question catches her completely off guard. She blinks at her.

"I... yes," she only says, as she tries to remember that day.

"You have my blessings," Kotori says, smiling at her. It doesn't reach her eyes, doesn't have the warmth and glow she normally has.

"Thank you," she says slowly, "but I refused." Kotori's stunned silence is the only answer she receives.

She looks away for a moment, glancing up at the sky above them through the leaves of the tree, watches the birds soaring through the air before she levels her gaze back down to Kotori. Her lady used to be taller than her, but Umi caught up three winters ago, secretly reveling that she no longer had to look up to Kotori. Now, though she is only slightly above Kotori, she feels more of a protector and guard.

"He asked me to give him my life. But my life is not mine to give." Her voice is still even as she speaks. "I swore it back then and I still swear it now. My life is always yours."

"Ah... yes..." Kotori looks away for some reason, worried frown on her face. Was... that not the right thing to say? "Your life... for... the Minami... my family..." she swallows suddenly, stopping herself.

Umi swallows too, feeling as though there's... something strange now, something she can't explain coursing through her, in this moment. "The Minami clan has given someone like me so much." She bows her head before she continues speaking, "but Lady Kotori was the one who saved my life and even gave me a name. I would give my life for the Minami, but the duty I swear is for you."

Kotori gasps at her words. There is nothing but silence, save for the chirping of the birds. Her eyes are downward in deference. But she does feel when there's a hand on her chin, forcing her back up. Kotori steps closer, the grass crunching under her shoes. Her hand on her chin slides up to cup her cheek. There's a small smile on her face and her cheeks are flushed.

"... you're so easily embarrassed when you talk to me but you can say _this_ with such a serious face," Kotori murmurs.

"... I'm sorry." Umi feels her face heating with Kotori's words.

"Why are you apologizing," she asks, though it comes out more like a soft murmur she doesn't want the answer to. Her smile is soft as her hand trails higher, to the scar right above her brow, a thin line now. She smooths her fingers against it, running along the broken skin. Umi stands there, closing her eye where Kotori's hand is, unsure of what is happening.

She's completely shocked when Kotori moves closer and presses against her, hiding her eyes into Umi's shoulder. Kotori's other hand rises, pressing against _there,_ on her chest, where her scar is. Umi's hands clench in the air as her whole body remains completely frozen.

"K-Kotori...?" Her mind is so confused that her name slips past instead of formalities. She feels nothing but heat spreading through her body and isn't sure what she can blame. Her hands finally land on Kotori's body, fully intending to push her away. She doesn't expect her hands to betray her and pull her closer.

With Kotori so close, she can feel all the differences between them. Her body is soft and small, hiding within all the layers of silk she wears. Her hands are gentle and unbroken, speaking of both hardships and luxuries that are so different from Umi's. Her own hand is so rough and hard that it makes her feel embarrassed for even having them on Kotori.

Maybe in another lifetime, Umi would have dabbled in poetry and literature and she'd be able to write out everything she feels right now, describe how wonderful Kotori feels against her, how everything feels like a dream and she'll wake up with fragments of something she could have had.

But when Kotori pulls back, hand still on her chest, moving over to where her heart is surely pounding, and looks straight into her eyes, she feels like even if this is a dream, she gladly wouldn't want to wake up.

Is Kotori moving closer? Umi thinks she is, moving so close she can feel her breathe, hear the both of them breathing in tandem. But she stops suddenly, closes her eyes tightly. Her hand on Umi becomes a fist, grabbing cloth as she shakes her head.

"I... " She pulls away suddenly and Umi is aware of how much colder it is now. The spell is broken and she is suddenly aware of what almost happened. She blinks rapidly, face burning hot. But Kotori does not tease her here. When she looks, Kotori is even more conflicted and she's surprised to see tears gathering at the corners of her eyes.

Umi is at a loss for words. She doesn't know what to say here, doesn't know what to do. How is she supposed to know what to do, when she doesn't even know what she's feeling in the first place?

"Kotori," she whispers, catching how Kotori shudders at her name. But she stops as well.

What can she say? What _could_ she say? This... this is improper, they cannot do this. Kotori is the heir to the Minami clan and she will inherit all their secrets. She must pass the blood on. Umi is only a simple girl who has nothing to her name, nothing to offer Kotori save for something she isn't even sure of, someone who will inevitably fade away with no legacy to speak of. Is that not... unfair, to Kotori?

What can she give to someone who she has already sworn her life to?

They stand there, as the leaves and petals sway around them, dancing their last moments of life before white death arrives. The birds chirp and sing one last song for them before they fly off on the horizon to leave them behind, go where they may never follow.

When Umi brings her eyes up, there is only one thing she sees, one thing she'll always see above all others. Kotori looks at her as well, her eyes still uncertain, but strangely, Umi has never felt so sure in her life. If Umi reached out, she'd be able to pull her back into her arms. Kotori raises her hand, wanting to reach out again. But her hand falls.

Umi catches it. She bends down, pose so familiar to her it is second nature. She presses her lips to Kotori's hand, in the softest of touches, only whispers words that become lost with the wind and the crumbling leaves.

"All I can see is you."

Kotori smiles.

* * *

  **21**

* * *

The only thing Umi can say is that, in the end, everything is a circumstance of time and place. If Kotori hadn't been the one who found her by the sea, then who knows what sort of life she'd be living, much less alive. It's an idle thought she has, something at the edge of her mind, as she watches the petals fall from the trees once again.

Spring announces itself with the growth of new leaves, the chirping of the birds who are both familiar and unfamiliar, and the red flowers in full bloom.

The head of the Minami comes to Umi. She's seen the head in only bits but even so, it's still striking how many lines she has on her face now, compared to the youthfulness Umi remembers her having. She has a cough that she's never had before and with every passing day, her figure becomes even weaker and frail. Kotori does not speak much of her mother but Umi does not need words to figure out what troubles her.

Right now though, she still commands power and authority, with her eyes crinkled with wisdom and stature still as strong as Umi remembered from that day. When she looks at Umi with those eyes, even Umi snaps upright and feels as if she is reliving the same day she was found. It makes her feel as if Umi is being laid bare, everything she's trying to hide being brought to the front. Maybe she really is easy to figure out, when the head only has a simple request for her.

"Take care of Kotori."

Umi only bows as deeply as she can, even until she can no longer hear the footsteps of the one who has given her so much. She remembers this image, of the woman who let her stay out of her generosity, mighty and powerful, as strong as her marker on the ground two summers later.

The same man continues to propose to her over and over again, swears that as long as he lives, she'll be the happiest woman in the world. She regards him, remembers him as the troublesome braggart who needed to be taught a lesson. Now, he is much less foolhardy and has reined in his temper, a fine captain of the guard and example to follow now.

She refuses with the same answer every time. "My life is not mine to give," Umi only says before she returns to the side of her lady.

Kotori learns the arts of the Minami, her power even stronger than her mother. As she oversees patients and the sickly, Umi stands in the corner, always watching, eyes sharp like a hawk. Magic does exist, she thinks later, as Kotori's smiles bring light to those she heals. At night, she overworks herself and Umi carries her back to her room for proper rest, watching over her until Kotori wakes and repeats the cycle again.

On a few instances they must travel. The only guard Kotori insists on bringing is her long trusted friend, Umi of the Sonoda, trusting her skill with her bow and sword to be much greater than any battalion of guards. She isn't wrong.

"The village here is very quaint, isn't it?" Kotori asks as she turns her head outward toward the open window, enjoying the night breeze. The moon shines high above them, giving them all the light they need as they enjoy their time before resting for the night.

"... it is," Umi agrees, though she can't help that feeling of something being off. There have been rumors of those who despise the Minami, for healing enemy and friend alike. Even now, where they stay, the Toujou clan they treat have enemies that are desperate to wipe them out, from rumors that Umi picks up around town. Her hand on her sword twitches far too often for her to be comfortable.

Kotori picks up the jug of _sake_ they've been graciously given, pouring it into Umi's cup. "A-ah, my thanks," Umi murmurs, embarrassed that she did not remember to refill their cups. Kotori only smiles. If she notices Kotori moving closer, aware of how suddenly warm her shoulder is when Kotori leans against it, feels Kotori slowly pulling into her until they are nothing but a tangled mess, she says nothing, only closes her eyes and allows herself to drown even further, letting the talons sink deeper.

Kotori spends all her energy healing and giving aid to the people. A strange sickness sweeps over them and they do not know what causes it. Umi can see how strained and frustrated Kotori is, to have her healing powers fail. The chirps of the birds seem like a taunt, especially when they soar high above where they are nothing but dots in the sky.

 _The Minami are not so miraculous as they say,_ she hears. _Or perhaps it is something with this heir?_ she hears on another day. Her grip on her sword tightens. Kotori remains tight-lipped, smiling politely.

"I still want to help everyone," Kotori whispers, late at night when only the crickets sing. Her words do nothing to soothe the troubles in Umi's mind. She is nothing but haggardness and tiredness, back heavy with all the responsibilities and burdens she was born with but not made to bear. When she looks out at the moon, her gaze is wistful and longing. Umi hates that look on her face, hates how much smaller and powerless she suddenly looks. She hates it, because the same duty she swears is what holds the both of them down. All she can do is stay by her lady's side and support everything she wishes to do.

On an unfortunate day, bandits attack. A normal occurrence but because of the sickness, the village has few defenders now. Kotori asks Umi to give the village aid, for their generosity of allowing them to stay for so long. She's reluctant, does not want to leave Kotori's side, but Kotori gives her a smile and promises that everything will be fine.

"I'll be here, when you get back," Kotori says reassuringly even as her hands curl around Umi's and her face looks anything but. Umi only reaches out to fix the ribbon in her hair, selfishly lets her fingers trail across her face before she leaves.

When she comes back, Umi is the only one alive, battered, but still breathing. The bandits are only a distraction, a hired ruse when the real target is the destruction of the village. Her hands bleed and her body aches for rest. Instead, she charges into the village, anger surging her forward, letting the birds sing her war cry for her.

Umi's face is blank when she arrives, firing arrow after arrow. During the time of battle, unnecessary emotions are what must be thrown away, lest she be almost carelessly killed again. She won't let Kotori make that face, won't be the one who causes her to look so.

She fights her way to where the Toujou manor is, where she knows Kotori is right now. She isn't sure how many enemies she's felled but all she knows is they do not thin out and she can't recognize any of the villagers who scramble away to safety. There are far too many that she cannot keep shooting her arrows. She swipes an arrow from her quiver but one of them manages to get too close before she can properly nock it.

She has to drop her bow to grab her sword, feeling as if her soul reverberates as well when her bow lands on the ground with a loud crash.

Her enemy moves too fast for her to be able to draw her sword in time. Instead, as she dodges his strike, she takes the same arrow and jams it into his eye, ignoring how it cracks and leaves splinters in her hands. Wood is something she can pull out later, a stab from metal is not so easily mended. He screams but doesn't go down, grabbing at his head. She kicks his feet out from under him. With a flick of her wrist and one smooth motion, she draws her sword and ensures he will never get back up.

Before she even has time to breathe, another enemy comes up to take his place, slashing at her impatiently. She sees the fury in his eyes when his eyes dart down to the fallen body for a split second and back up to her.

She easily sidesteps and repays his mistake with a deep cut through his side and a stab through his heart. She flicks the blood off and turns to the rest, expression still blank. The others begin to regard her carefully now, circling around her. It doesn't matter. She cuts them all down regardless, keeping her eyes straight ahead.

She still sees only one person, swings her sword for only one person, lives for only one person.

When she finally reaches the manor, there is nothing but chaos, smoke coming from inside, fires roaring all around. The maids and servants rush past her, screaming. Umi takes a deep breath, staring at the trampled flowers as she does so before she runs inside.

Kotori is slumped across the floor, eyes closed with a large beam across her.

 _Now,_ Umi feels her emotions rushing forward. The panic and desperation Umi felt once before, in a time she can recall as easily as her name, returns. She runs as fast as she can, even if her leg tears against the fallen wood, even as everything burns around her.

She kneels down, lifting the wooden beam off of Kotori. Her hands burn and sting. She does not care, she has felt worst pain, will lose every meaning to her life if she gives up here. When she finally pushes the beam off, her hands are burning and angry, matching the redness of everything around her. She ignores it, drags Kotori into her arms, breathing harshly. Kotori does not move. The fires roar even louder around them, crackling, threatening to rob every last breath from them. Umi smiles brokenly.

_My life is not yours to take._

She can't tell if Kotori is breathing or not. Better to think the worst than to keep hope, though Kotori would argue otherwise.

_If you are no longer alive, then there is no reason for me to keep that promise, is there?_

"Even now, I still swear my duty to you, until every last breath leaves me," Sonoda Umi vows again as her final duty to Minami Kotori. The fires crackle even louder, challenging her.

She stands up, cradling the body of her little bird, holding tightly even as the fire howls all around them, when the house shakes and threatens to crash. Even if the fire burns all around, searing hot all around her, she feels the opposite, freezing in the coldness of her mind. The wood crashes down, threatening to bury them, to be nothing but unknown markers for the rest of time.

It is here that she finally makes her first selfish decision for the both of them, as Umi.

The sea is merciless and takes, drowning little birds who cannot fly away in time.

In this moment, Sonoda and Minami are severed from the world, lost to the blazing currents, drifting away as the sea commands.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The first daughter of the Kousaka bows her head at the sight before her, the ocean breeze pushing her hair all around her. She looks up before turning her eyes down to the anemone flowers in her arms. She steps closer, letting the water hit her feet, trying not to flinch at how cold it is. She takes several more steps, when the water reaches just under her knees, before she throws the flowers out to sea.

Watching the petals scatter and float away makes her smile wistfully. "Sorry Kotori-chan, I'll be sure to bring your favorite _manjuu_ next time," Honoka apologizes, smiling softly as she does so. She turns around and nods to her companion, a brown haired girl whose eyes are down with figure withdrawn. Honoka smiles patiently. "Would you like to pay your respects?"

"Y-yes," she murmurs, bowing deeply, sniffling to herself. Even though it's already been a year, Honoka feels as if several have passed instead. Kotori of the Minami is no more and with the loss of their head and heir, the Minami are scattered like the birds in the sky, taking with them their secrets to the end of time.

"I-I'm done now," Hanayo whispers, straightening herself back up. Honoka nods at her before turning around. Her eyes widen with shock.

"Bandits?!" Honoka gasps, finding herself backed up next to Hanayo. When she looks all around her, she realizes they're surrounded. Her mind races as she tries to figure out what to do.

A sudden sound makes all of them startle and in the next instant, one of the bandits has an arrow embedded into his neck. Hanayo screams, clutching at Honoka.

Honoka and Hanayo are struck speechless when arrows begin to strike all of them. Some of them get smart and try to move around but the arrows find their target each time. Honoka widens her eyes while Hanayo shakes her head.

"There's... only one person I know who could..." Hanayo whispers, trailing off with amazement. Finally, the only ones left standing are Honoka and Hanayo, still frozen where they are.

Honoka feels someone watching her. She snaps her head – and gawks when she realizes there _is_ someone standing some ways off, a bow in their bandaged hands. They're wearing a large black cloak and their bamboo hat obscures part of their face so she can't quite see who it is.

They lower their bow, raising their hand up to their hat and tipping it down, further obscuring their identity. Honoka watches them leave, wonders why their long hair swaying in the wind makes her think of the waves that ebb behind them.

As she looks further up, she realizes there's someone, a lady, waiting for them, holding an umbrella as a shield from the sun. For a brief moment, she lifts the umbrella, revealing herself.

Honoka sees the color green, the same light shade her childhood friend loved to wear because it reminded her of peace and tranquility, smiling with the same gentleness and warmth that makes her ache for someone who should no longer be there. Before she knows it, she's running. When she gets to that same spot though, they're gone, leaving behind only the sound of gentle waves and the melodies of the birds.


End file.
